2 Responses

  1. avatar
    linda at |

    They might as well pulled the trigger when they gave me that diagnosis, but I suppose its left to us to do the deed. Physically abused by father for 13 years rejected by him and my sisters because of depression that THEY caused, I now know that it was right fo rme to hate myself I was always called scum and the lowest of the low when the blows rained down, sacked from nursing because of depression, well this diagnosis IS the lowest of the low, the system kills

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  2. avatar
    Ashley Groizard at |

    Borderline personality disorder is a living hell. I am constantly raging, self harming, impulsive in a few things, I relate to just about every single bpd symptom. I hate my illness it pushes everyone away. I have some who support me but most I have lost or am slowing losing contact with. I am constantly feeling empty and so ashamed of myself. I’ve made massive mistakes that I’ll regret forever. But I have come along way but I struggle everyday. Some days I wanna die but deep down I really want to be here for my loved ones. I have a full time carer and he is my forever love my fiancé. I love him and our only child so much and our dogs the girly whirlys and my family and friends. Not that I’m really likeable but I try my best. Not many people understand my bpd and to be honest I hate myself on a daily basis and I constantly force myself to be happy and positive. I’ve had my son removed out of my care and it made me worse but for my son and loved ones I beat drug addiction thank god and made huge improvements. I believe in God because I should be dead and I’ve attempted suicide a couple of times but I’m lucky because I’m lucky I survived. I want to survive. I am a survivor and I sometimes am proud of myself. My loved ones put up with me and are really good to me and the ones who don’t talk to me I feel still love me and I love them but they cannot handle my borderline personality disorder and terrible mistakes I’ve made and I understand. I punish myself because of the things I say and do that I CANNOT CONTROL. I am sorry to everyone and to anyone out there with borderline personality disorder you deserve to live. What if this life is the only one we get? We must survive and I know it’s agony I know it’s mental torture I know we suffer everyday but we are alive so just do the best we can because that is all we can do. If people hate on us for things we find hard or impossible to control and they tease us or talk badly about us or they put us down and bad mouth us and they don’t understand don’t worry about them because at the end of the day if they walked in our shoes with borderline personality disorder they would be lucky if they could handle what we put up with every day of our lives and they wouldn’t be bitching about us if they had what we had they have no idea. We are survivors. I have bashed people and they’ve told everyone they beat me but they haven’t but at the end of the day I don’t go running around telling people I bashed the fuck outta them because I am ashamed of my borderline personality disorder and myself and I cannot control my self which I am so ashamed of and I don’t care that people in town have ruined my reputation because they know I could bash the hell outta them but I’m now a mother and I have respect for my child. I want my son and my fiancé and family and friends to be proud of how far I have come and the significant changes I’ve made working on self improvement. If I could offer advice to others with borderline personality disorder don’t give up on yourself, if you fail a million times just keep trying, don’t self harm because it could end your life and your beautiful self deserves to live a life worth living, tell those you care about your sorry, and most importantly work on self improvement and helping yourself and learn about bpd and how to improve and if you need to go to hospital it’s okay don’t feel ashamed of yourself and if you have no one left there is always helplines, stay strong because haters will hate because they are jealous but don’t let those fuckers get to you. Your beautiful and dbt is hard but it does help. I’m one of the worst cases of borderline personality disorder but I’ve made massive improvements but I was a psychopath I am still crazy but I’m not as bad. I have a beautiful son and fiancé and two dogs and a beautiful family and friends and locals around my town who are absolutely amazing. I am a survivor with self harm scars to prove it but I try my hardest to not self harm. Please know if anyone I know is reading this I really care about you all and I try my best, I love my family and that includes all my loved ones. I don’t want anyone to punish themselves or feel bad or sad for me or feel guilty I want you all to be happy live your life the best you can and be yourself and don’t hold grudges because life’s to short remember the good memories try forget the bad and learn from your mistake or mistakes because it makes us better people and if you cannot handle having me in your life it’s okay I’d get rid of me to but I’m stuck in my body so guess I can’t leave me, but nah it’s all good no pressure just have an awesome life. Sending good luck positive energy and health wealth and happiness. Shine bright your all beautiful. I’m living for my loved ones I’ll try my best to beat the odds of bpd suicide and I hope no one loses there life to borderline personality disorder. Rest In Peace all those borderline personality disorder suffers who have lost your lives and God bless us all with borderline personality disorder please. I love my fiancé, son, two dogs, my whole family and family in laws and friends and I hold no grudges. Take care you can survive and I will too hopefully

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